Sunday, January 12, 2014

Taking the T Family Temperature

[EDITOR’S NOTE: The post originally began drafting last weekend during the “Arctic Freeze.”]

At bed time last night, the cell phone thermometer read negative 8 degrees (Fahrenheit, so as not to confuse our international readers) with a forecasted low of negative 15 around 5:00 a.m.  By far, a record low for us since moving to Easton.  The historic low temp – at least since we’ve inhabited Casa de Teravainen – inspired me to record a new entry in the annals of the family blog.

I don’t specifically recall when I became aware of the term “trending.”  The web site,, explains that trending is a “mutilation of the English language that means ‘currently popular.’  It derives from a sad misunderstanding of the verb ‘to trend’ as meaning ‘to become a trend.’”  (Tell me that passage wasn’t written by a real life version of the dean character in “Scent of a Woman”?)  The articulate belly aching continues by blaming Twitter and pop culture for the root of all dumbness in modern day society. 

For better or worse, trending has gained traction in the modern day parlance of our digital media readers and writers.  The term also serves as a co-inspiration for today’s posting, along with the feezing temperature outside our windows.  Here goes nothing.

Temperature/Trend Level: Randy’s and Michelle’s Wasabi on NYE (Translation: A Forest Fire in Your Mouth)

Tilly’s speech is suddenly off the charts.  Far and away, the best example is when she says “Yessssssssssssssttthhhh” with a slight lisp…  Sully and Mike.  Either of the Monsters’ movies has to be the kids’ consensus favorite…  Pop Tarts.  No clue where that came from.  They sat for weeks in a box untouched in the pantry and suddenly they’re like Downton Abbey circa halfway through Season 2…  Tilly’s constant relocation of chairs for use as a ladder to wreak havoc on anything previously safe on a surface over three feet tall…  Gus’ plumber crack/pencil holder sightings are off the charts.  Granted, the five of us collectively probably show waxing/waning moons on a daily basis, but he really needs longer pants… 

Temperature/Trend Level: Siracha/Cholula/Our Fourth Child

Greta’s guitar playing, singing, and hip shaking performances after dinner.  Anyone outside of our party of five probably has a better chance of seeing a Sasquatch than seeing Greta sing live but all the more reason that the phenomenon be recorded in our history books.  Granted we’re not talking about a successor to Hannah Montana, but the songs about unicorns, rainbows, lady bugs, and butterflies might even make someone with a bitchy resting face smile…   Gus’ random utterance of “Ho, Ho, Ho, Merry Christmas” still pops up even though we’re almost half-way through January.  It kills me every time I hear him…  Tilly’s transition from high pony to real pony…  Adult foot injuries from stepping blindly on Barbie accessories in the living room…

Temperature/Trend Level: Medium Rare Plus

Pee-pee and poo-poo on the potty for Gus.  He’s totally fine with going on the bowl.  We are asking him more often than he approaches us to announce that nature calls, but still, it’s an improvement…  Tilly’s transition from crib to big girl bed started off rocky, but it’s dramatically improved since we installed a lock and removed her door knob.  This topic could be in the Cholula club, but I don’t want to speak too soon…  Typical, topless cups are making a resurgence in the market share of our household’s drink containers.  Although Gus and Tilly drink most commonly from Nalgene cups, they at least try to copy Greta at dinner.  When they are all drinking from topless cups, my bonfire of covered cups will be glorious…  Speaking of beverages…

Temperature/Trend Level: Switzerland/Goldilocks’ Porridge Preference/Hot Cold Parkers

The average night’s sleep (for me at least) is probably between 6.3 and 6.7 these days.  However, I must disclose that THE WIFE gave me the only gift I wanted for Christmas (not what you’re thinking,) intercepting all kids before they could blitzkrieg our room, and let me sleep late once last weekend and this weekend.  It felt glorious to wake up at 8:30.  For reals.  That might be my go-to request gift on any occasion from now until 2022…  Sign language has really fallen by the wayside.  Although we all sign “I love you” as much as we say it, we probably only continue to use a handful of signs because Gus’ speech has been coming along.  Granted, it may be difficult for others to understand him as well as THE WIFE and I do, but we’ll take it….

Temperature/Trend Level: Last Saturday and Sunday morning/The North and South Poles pre-global warming

Cribs, booster seats, and sleep sacks are now officially endangered species in this house.  I fired up my Sawzall for the first time (Father’s Day or last year’s birthday gift) and tore through the crib Tilly was using before she upgraded to the toddler bed.  The crib was held together with zip ties and c-clamps, but it still felt good to saw into smaller pieces...  As for the booster seats, I really miss the seat belt feature because it kept the little ones locked into their spots at meals.  Toward the end, they were just unbuckling themselves so it became a moot point.  Now they just get up and walk around at will so much when we eat, it feels like I’m back at the Central High cafeteria during Mod F...  Red blends not named Decoy or the 90+ Cellars Shiraz Viognier combo just don’t do it for me anymore...  My outdoor Christmas light display this year was somewhere between pre-school art project and Charlie Brown Christmas tree.  It was a sad, sad sight.  Next year, I promise to channel my inner Clark Griswold. 

So there you have it.  I’d say my New Years Resolution will be to blog more frequently, but I never make it with resolutions past February.  Still, Happy New Year to THE READERS!