Little Lovely

On February 8, 2010, G will be one whole year old. Damn, that was effing fast! I know it’s cliché, but really that time flew by.

In some ways, G’s presence reminds me at any given time of what it’s like to fall in love. Looking back over the last twelve months, I keep thinking about how she warms parts of my heart that I never knew existed or just plain forgot about.

Think about the first time you saw your current flame or even your high school sweetheart (for some of you, this is the same person): maybe your heart skipped a beat, perhaps you gasped, or your eyes widened just a little bit. I mean, you probably felt something metaphysical right? When the doctors placed Greta’s eight pounds and seven ounces in my arms for the first time at 2 in the morning that day, I experienced all three sensations at the same time. She was the most beautiful little creature I had ever seen – even though I could see some of me in her!

Now, the first unsolicited kiss or hug from both a first love or one's child is just gold. The unexpected display of affection can’t be beat. It warms you right up kind of like a little internal fireworks burst from within your chest to all of your extremities. Up to that moment, it never happened before so you have no frame of reference to prepare for it. The first time G drooly kissed me on my cheek I wasn’t looking, but once I realized what happened, I'm pretty sure I welled up a little bit because it was so unexpected.

As for the L word, we’re talking a totally different stratosphere. I’ll probably lose my shit like the wife watching any given episode of Biggest Loser when G drops her first “I love you” on me. In stark contrast to those of us whose first relationship “I love you” occurred in eighth grade, I anticipate (gratefully) that my first L word moment with G will in all likelihood not occur while slow dancing with pegged pants during a Def Leppard song.

And of course, in any relationship, there are the “painful” memories. Since taking G home from the hospital and handling her like a Jenga stack on its last move, I’ve somehow managed to 1) hit her head on an I-beam in a parking garage while placing her in the baby bjorn at just over 1 month old, 2) leave her unattended on the couch at six months old, thus allowing her to roll off and scream bloody murder, and 3) last night, play with the shower curtain until the curtain rod fell and clunked her head – great times! (To be clear, by painful I of course meant clumsy accidents that inevitably occur after spending lots of time together – not the kind of “accidents” that happen in Chris Brown/Rihanna relationships.)

Anyway, today I was killing time during a lunch break and I somehow managed to stroll around a shopping mall that had a Target attached to it. Normally, I gravitate towards those departments that interest me only – music, books, sporting equipment – and disregard any other displays or departments that might impair my search and destroy objective. But today, my typically blitzkrieg-like shopping mission became derailed as I passed by the toy section and spied something with Elmo on it. At that moment, I was thinking about my little Gigi.

Now granted, I didn’t buy anything (we’re trying to sell the place and I couldn’t stomach accumulating yet another item to try and stuff in the toy box especially when she is just as easily amused by emptying our dirty laundry basket as she is by a toy) but I still became distracted temporarily. The thought of G made me smile and realize how lucky I am to have to her in my life. I wished she was there with me so I could give her a big hug. I must be in love again! What can I say? I’m a sucker for a pretty lady…